Can you share with us the moment you were diagnosed with breast cancer? What were your initial thoughts and emotions?
Like anyone else, I was devastated. That means in a split second I felt numb, then I felt fear, then I felt denial and at the end, I felt such sorrow. But then a few minutes later I felt a small lust for a fight growing.
How did you cope with the news of diagnosis, both personally and with your loved ones?
I read a silly book about a girl ditching rainy Britain to start a bookstore on a tropical island. I watched The Golden Girls a lot and I spoke to a survivor that did make it after treatment. With my loved ones, I limited the information I shared. I needed to be in a strong mental mode and I did not want to be their caretaker at that point. Now I don’t mind supporting their fears over my theoretical demise.
What was the most challenging aspect of your treatment journey, and how did you overcome it?
Chemotherapy is awful. Going to chemotherapy is awful, knowing that every time the side effects of the treatment are different. The anticipation of scans is inducing to say the least.
Can you discuss the role of your healthcare team in your treatment and recovery? Were there any healthcare professionals who made a significant difference in your experience?
They all made a HUGE difference. The oncologist saved my life.
Did you encounter any misconceptions or stigmas surrounding breast cancer during your journey? If so how did you address them?
The biggest misconception is that cancer can be cured. It cannot be cured at stage 4. It’s a little daunting talking to newly diagnosed stage 4 cancer patients about their hope of being cured.
What advice would you offer to other individuals facing a breast cancer diagnosis?
Find other cancer patients with good mindsets. Fight bitterness and fear. Try to be stronger than the side effects. A big part of it is a mental fight. And learn to live beyond your diagnosis. Even though it is a huge part of your life, get into other things. I started to enjoy my work more, playing with my daughter, and am currently learning how to surf.
How has your experience with breast cancer impacted your journey as a parent, and how have you navigated balancing your own health needs with the responsibilities of parenthood?
Gosh. What a good question. First, I don’t know how single parents would handle this. It is difficult. The balance is off, but my partner’s generosity is tantamount to the quality of my/our parenting. My wife takes our daughter while I recover from the side effects of chemotherapy. I feel awful for my laughter that I have to deal with this. But my daughter’s focus on the moment pushes me to take the focus away from my sickness. Play is so important to her and now to me. It propels my mental and physical state towards parenting. I need to be in good shape for that. And I hope it will show my daughter that mental and physical health is of utmost importance.
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